Life + Faith

Tag: Church

  • Here It Is: Paul Roos, Leadership, And Youth Ministry

    I recently finished reading the latest book by Paul Roos, “Here It Is: Coaching, Leadership and Life.” Paul Roos is a very successful AFL coach and highly sought after for his man-management and leadership coaching. This year I’ve enjoyed listening to him in the commentary box and was intrigued to read how he approached coaching and working with teams.

    I often wonder how closely coaching an elite sporting team and being involved in Christian ministry align. Obviously, there are significant differences, and the markers of success are worlds apart. However, leadership is still leadership and so part of reading this book was to gain insights for youth ministry. As I read the book I was constantly thinking how his principles for leadership applied to youth ministry. I found much of what he talked about helpful because (1) I enjoy sport and AFL, and (2) I could see his approach being similar to other things I’ve read or heard regarding ministry.

    Below are 10 ideas I found helpful. I wonder if they impact the way we approach youth ministry ourselves?

    Here it is

    (1) The Importance Of Relationships

    Roos emphasises relationships as the key to success at a football club. He played at a time where it was ‘old school’ football. A time where the players would simply train, turn up to play, and do whatever the coach would ask. Often there was little relationship between players, coach, and other staff. After observing this as a player he decided to approach things differently and have a focus on positive inter-club relationships.

    In youth ministry (and church ministry) it’s all about relationships. I’ve been reminded by this in other ways recently, and will hopefully elaborate on that in coming posts. But, needless to say, everything in youth ministry is about relationships. It’s about relationship with God and relationship between people. It’s about relationship with pastoral staff, it’s about relationship with leaders, and between leaders. It’s about relationship with young people and the relationships they have between themselves. It’s about relationship with everyone. Youth ministry is about relationships.

    (2) The 25-points

    Within a month of finishing up as a player Roos wrote down 25-points that were essentially values and standards he would articulate and live out as a coach. These 25-points include the majority of the points I am drawing out here, but the point is he actually wrote down the values he wanted to keep to and they helped guide him in his coaching.

    I wonder whether we as youth ministry write down standards and values that guide us in our leadership? It is worth considering what is most important to you, and where you believe leadership in youth ministry should be focussed on. When being interviewed for the role I currently have I took with me a sheet of paper that had some key scriptures for the way I approached ministry and also seven, what I called, ‘Pastoral Pillars’ that would be my guide as a Youth Pastor. The headings for each of these were: (1) Relational, (2) Disciple Development, (3) De-Program, (4) Leader Development, (5) Mission Posture, (6) Framed Risk, (7) Grey OK. This helped me articulate where I was at and also informed the committee who they were getting. I found it helpful. I think they did too. Do you have something similar?

    (3) The Calm Leader

    Roos played in an era where coaches going off their head was common practice. Giving a good dressing down, dragging the players off the field and onto the bench when they made a mistake, and generally trying to motivate players through yelling and shame. Roos saw this wasn’t benefiting anyone, particularly in keeping morale up, developing players, and providing motivation. His response was to make sure he kept himself calm. He made sure he was emotionally stable in his leadership and provided confidence in doing so. He didn’t want to react in an emotionally volatile way when winning or losing.

    In youth ministry, are you a stable and calm leader? A big influence on me has been the idea of being a ‘non-anxious presence’. That is, someone who is calm, not anxious, and emotionally stable during times of upset, crisis, and conflict. I have wondered whether this can be detrimental when certain situations call for passion, enthusiasm, and excitement. But, in general, a person who leads in youth ministry needs to be calm and in doing so inspire confidence and trust in their leadership.

    When a kid has fall and breaks their foot at a youth camp, be calm and deal with it appropriately. When a leader seems to be going through some sort of crisis and requires some extra attention, be calm and deal with it appropriately. When a parent doesn’t like an action that has been taken and let’s fly with their complaint, be calm and deal with it appropriately. In youth ministry, we need calm, non-anxious, leaders who in doing so help inspire, motivate, and build trust with people around them.

    (4) The Time It Takes To Develop People

    Roos understood that it takes time to develop players. He comments that the age of great learning for a footballer is 18-22 years old. They get drafted, and then take years to develop in their skills, learning about the game, and general aptitude for elite AFL football. Recognising this, Roos seemed to do a few things. First, he made sure the players understood his game plan, their role in the team, and the skills required for top level football. Second, he took time in bringing them into the elite league of the game, often keeping them in second tier competitions for longer than other coaches would. There is the implication that it takes a number of years to develop as a player, helping this development from a young age was his goal. This was clear within his chapters on leading the Sydney football academy for talented teenagers.

    In youth ministry, it takes time to develop faith and to develop in leadership. I think faith could be explored separately to this, but leadership and learning the ropes of youth ministry can begin to be taught while students are still going through youth group and the youth ‘programs’. The youth programs can be tools for discipleship, leadership development, and possibly even church leadership too. But even if we’re intentional it will take time. As hard as it sounds, not all people will have the character or aptitude for youth ministry leadership, I don’t think God has made everyone equal in this regard. However, there are plenty of people who one may not think as ‘youth ministry potential’ who are able to learn and grow in their leadership skills. This simply takes time.

    (5) Everyone Has A Role

    Following on from development is also the question of role. Roos outlined clearly how everyone in the team had a role. Sometimes this was different to what the player had always known. The player may have believed that getting 30 possessions a match was his role, but actually, his role was part of a larger system, the team system, to which they all played a vital part. If that player only had 20 possessions but played their role as they were supposed to then the team had better success than if they went it alone, believing they had to win the game for the team. Roos believes that everyone at the football club has a role and it needs to be defined. Everyone from the President, CEO, Senior Coach, Assistant Coaches, and the players. In some ways, this aligns with another of his values, which was to deal with every player individually, knowing their personal strengths and weaknesses. This avoids lumping everyone into the same box. It is about getting the most out of each person.

    I wonder how we view our youth ministries? Do we do that for our students? For our leaders? For our wider church? The Youth Pastor has a role, that seems to be more defined than others in the church. But, I would argue that just as Paul in 1 Corinthians 12:12-27 writes about the body of Christ, so too, everyone in the church has a role in regard to youth ministry. It’s just not defined or communicated. Therefore, rather than getting every youth leader to be involved in everything on a Friday night perhaps some people are better at talks and should those gifts more often. Perhaps others are good at social media and should look at being communication co-ordinators. Perhaps others are good at running games, explaining them well and getting the group involved. Perhaps others are good at administration and should be looking at the database and helping people in that way. This would help with leadership development, understanding of the various facets of youth ministry, and also help with delegation.

    (6) Team Formed Standards And Values

    A key aspect to Roos’s approach with coaching was to involve every one of the players in determining what the team stood for. The team would have a pre-season camp and flesh out what their values and standards were. This would include values like honesty, hard work, and a never give up attitude. As these values made their way through the team the players themselves would be the ones enforcing the standards. In this way, everyone is invested in the performance of everyone else. Not only on the field, but also off it.

    Could this be a way forward for youth leadership teams? I know I’ve done this a little with my youth leadership teams. We’ve created some leadership commitment guidelines to help guide what it means to be a leader in the youth ministry. I’m sure this could be enforced more, and with each other helping to lift their game in various areas. As an example, one of these guidelines is child safety. If a leader goes outside the bounds, say, initiates a hug with a student, and another leader sees this, they would then pull them up for it. If there is feedback given in terms of the talk or a game, then another leader can do that – encouraging them and also helping them to improve. I see big advantages when the leadership team is invested in creating the standards and values of the ministry.

    (7) A Yearly Review

    Each year Roos would sit down with each individual player and work through strengths and growth areas.

    In youth ministry this would be worth doing also, not only together as a team but individually. As a Youth Pastor I would expect to catch up with my leaders reasonably regularly anyway. But, there could be an intentional one-on-one at the end of the year. This could touch on topics such as discipleship growth, spiritual disciplines, church involvement, and an area to grow in next year.

    (8) The Attitude That Rubs Off

    Roos knew that his attitude would rub off on the players. As the central leader of the club his attitude meant everything. He made sure he was positive and had a positive outlook on the club, the players, and what they could achieve. This doesn’t mean he never made critical judgements about what was going on or was disappointed in players actions. He simply wanted to be positive in his attitude no matter the result.

    Youth ministry isn’t in the win-loss premiership game, but we still have indicators that mean we are satisfied or dissatisfied with the way things are going. At the end of youth group leaders can be up and about because they believe the night went well. Or, they can be flat and a bit disappointed. A process for assessing each youth event and program is vital. But, even more so, the positive attitude of the main leader keeps the big picture in mind and helps other leaders assess correctly. The attitude of the Youth Pastor or key leader has a big impact.

    (9) The Game Plan

    Once all his big blocks of values and standards, attitude and roles were in place Roos also had a game plan to win each match. This game plan seemed to be the same from year one to year ten. It didn’t seem to change much. However, there was a plan. As it has been said, “If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail”.

    It is important to plan in youth ministry. Not just planning a few months out but also having a plan for each event, small group, or youth group night. It is important that everyone on the team knows that plan. I am one who prefers to have those plans early in the week. Others prefer to bring the plan to the night an hour before we start. In any case, a basic plan for us on a Friday night is (1) Welcome, (2) Games, (3) Talk, (4) Discussion Groups. We may also include a time for snacks or for making sure a couple of leaders are at the door when parents arrive for pick-up. After the night is done and things are packed up we as leaders gather and chat through the highlights and lowlights of the evening. It is important to have a plan for youth ministry, one that is broad and one that is specific.

    (10) Communicate, Communicate

    With his commitment to relationships Roos had an emphasis on communication. He kept it simple and constant. Communication between everyone was vital is sustaining relationships and also reinforcing the values and standards of the football club.

    If there is little communication the youth ministry will not go well. There is communication needed between many different parties and in a variety of ways. Communication between Youth Pastor and leadership team and pastoral team. Communication between youth group leaders and parents and students. Communication between youth ministry and wider church. Any relationship you can think of relating to youth ministry requires some form of communication. It is an important part of the gig. And at the end of the day, it is another key aspect to building relationships.

  • On Youth Pastor Position Descriptions

    About a week ago I wrote a short Facebook post out of frustration:

    “Another day, another horrible position description for a youth and young adults pastor.

    Sorry churches, Superman/woman can’t even run a youth ministry, facilitate the young adult ministry and lead an evening congregation on 12 hours a week. #wecandobetter #rantover.”

    I don’t like to complain too often in public, as it seems most social posts these days are that way inclined. However, this comment did receive a little traction, including some private messages from people hoping I wasn’t referring to their church’s search for a Youth Pastor!

    But I did write out of frustration.

    The particular position description I came across was horrible for its expectations on the Youth Pastor, its lack of time allocated to do a good job, and its focus in outlining specific tasks. And, it is not uncommon to see horrible job descriptions for Youth Pastors like this. Expectations and responsibilities stated on paper, in black and white, often far exceed the capabilities of the possible employee, particularly if the position is part-time.

    But rather than just write a frustrated Facebook post, here are some further reflections and suggestions on youth ministry job descriptions.

    notasuperhero

    (1) It is positive churches want a youth ministry practitioner.

    Having a church willing to give time and money and resource to help their young people and families is extremely positive. Whether it is 1-day per week or full-time, we must acknowledge that the willingness of a congregation to do this is a positive one.

    (2) Budgets, more often than not, drive the time allocation. 

    It’s worth naming that the church’s budget is a huge determining factor in the time allocation of Youth Pastors. It is obvious that the church has to have a certain level of income in order to pay their staff. However, this can also skew the thinking of leadership teams when they are driven to fill a role rather than use it as a vehicle to help the church’s vision in ministering to young people and families.

    Just because the money is there does not mean you should automatically search for a Youth Pastor. And just because the money isn’t there doesn’t mean you can’t have a vision for youth ministry in your church.

    (3) The time allocation for the role will determine the quality and experience of applicants. 

    A person with over 10 years experience, a theological degree, and a young, growing family isn’t going to be looking for a Youth Pastor job that’s 2 days per week. A newbie to youth ministry in their first year of Bible College, with an internship under their belt, is unlikely to be the person for a full-time role.

    The allocation of days per week will have a factor on who applies for the role. The number of days the church puts into a role will determine the quality and experience of applicants. This should determine the expectations, development, and breadth of responsibility put upon the YP.

    (4) Understand how long tasks, events, and projects actually take. 

    From reading a number of position descriptions over time there seems to be little understanding of how long things actually take. It may surprise some that it actually takes time to prepare a bible study, to run a youth group program, and to develop leaders. In any week a variety of things can pop up that mean the ability to complete some tasks will take longer or be pushed out.

    That’s what happens when working in the people business.

    It would be worth churches talking to other Youth Pastors to gain a realistic understanding of how much time certain tasks and events take so they are done well.

    (4a) Include every commitment necessary into the time allocation.

    If there is a mid-week bible study, a Friday night youth group, and a Sunday morning and evening service then by my reckoning there is around 10 hours of actual program time. This neglects to include the time for preparation of said programs and the time for setup, pack-up and debrief. If they’re included then it balloons to around 16-20 hours depending on the length of the programs.

    That’s already 2-days per week for a Youth Pastor to do some very standard, line-and-length youth ministry.

    This doesn’t include the 1:1 meet-ups, pastoral team meetings, administration, follow-up of young people and families, the development of leaders, church or committee meetings, professional development, and any space for visioning, thinking and brainstorming of what is to come.

    It’s important to include everything. Churches should be just and fair workplaces, if not better.

    (5) Understand that people are at the core of the Youth Pastor role.

    While the tasks, events, and projects are important the Youth Pastor views the role in terms of people. As I’ve said, the church is in the people business.

    When the position description simply states all the programs the applicant is responsible for then it doesn’t inspire much. But, if the PD states the vision for the ministry, the goal of helping people understand and grow in faith, help families and children grow closer to Jesus, and provide care of the youth and families in the church, then there is something more appealing.

    All the programs and activities that happen in a church are simply vehicles for ministry. The ongoing check-ins, catch-ups, dinners, and the like are what help, grow and care people.

    Sometimes a vehicle can get too old or the needs for a particular vehicle change. Going from a couple to having a family often means the change of car. The needs change. The same can happen in churches and their youth ministries. Understand it revolves around people.

    (6) Provide time for growth and development. 

    It is not easy to find a position description for a Youth Pastor that specifically states they will grow and develop the person. I haven’t found churches overly great in professional development. Sure, we all grow in the job, that’s definitely the case. However, if funds and time are allocated for conferences, further training, and study then this will help the person, and will more than likely keep them in the role longer.

    (7) Be specific about what your church is hoping to achieve, be broad in how that will happen.

    It’s all well and good to want a Youth Pastor, but why do you want one?

    Is it because the families in your church are wanting their kids to be looked after at certain times of the week, given a bit of Jesus, and a sprinkle of fun? Or, is it because there is the recognition that young families, young people and young adults are a priority for the church going forward?

    Is it because you need to fill particular tasks and so hiring a YP will mean Friday nights and bible studies will happen? Or, is it because there is a vision to develop lifelong faith in children, young people and young adults?

    Be big on vision. Give a sense of what you’d like to achieve. But don’t dictate the path. Allow the congregation and potential YP to capture the vision and then let them fulfil it using the appropriate vehicles. A dictatorial position description shows a lack of trust. A vision-orientated one doesn’t.

    (8) Have confidence in knowing the Youth Pastor will be putting more pressure on themselves than anyone in the church. 

    It’s true. The YP will be tougher on themselves than anyone else. They will be more willing and more driven to see people come to faith and grow in that faith. Trust that. Believe in them.

    I think that will do for now.

    More could be said around support from superiors and the church’s leadership, which I have mentioned previously.

    Hope this helps.

  • Working Better

    ‘Adulting’ according to Urban Dictionary, is:

    “…to do grown up things and hold responsibilities, such as, a 9-5 job, a mortgage or rent, a car payment, or anything else that makes one think of grown-ups.”

    When entering youth ministry it is not uncommon to be in our early to mid-20s. In all reality, there is little of life lived and much more of life to come. Some things we aren’t taught in school and one of those things is adulting.

    Part of adulting is having a system to deal with all the adulting things we need to do in life and work. Having a system to deal with these things can be learnt and is important in any job, relationship, or area of responsibility you might find yourself in.

    With this in mind, I wish I had a better idea of organising my workflow and system when entering youth ministry. I have always considered myself someone who is pretty decent at organising and planning. For example, I have colour-coded calendars that tell me what’s coming up in church and family life. I have a spreadsheet that details every book I’ve read since 2005. I keep my books in categories. I keep notes of conversations I’ve had with people. I used to rename individual photos according to date and place. So, yeah, I think I’m OK at this organising thing…sometimes a bit too much.

    But starting out life in my twenties I had no idea. It took me a number of years, through working as a Personal Trainer and Gym Manager, and into missions and ministry, before I felt I had a good system.

    This system refers to how one handles their to-do-list and what you do with all the life administration you end up doing. This can include how to deal with email, reminding yourself of the improvements you need to make when running that camp again next year, setting a date to write a report, trying to remember the contact details of a new person at youth group. And so on.

    There is a lot to deal with in youth ministry, and in life, so a system to deal with this is always helpful.

    If I had my time over again I would begin thinking through this stuff earlier than I did. In many ways this is a learned process but there are plenty of resources to help young Youth Pastors think through the skills they need to improve as part of the job. In youth ministry there can be plenty of things going on in church life and it is hard to keep all the balls in the air at once. If starting out again, I’d think about how to structure my week, how to get my emails down to zero, how to plan the next 12 months and the next 3 years, how to understand the rhythm of the church’s year, how to deal with budgets, and how to plan one-off events.

    All this non-people work makes our world turn on its axis.

    What’s it called?

    That’s right, administration.

    The death of many a good Youth Pastor.

    In every job there are things that people don’t really wish to do. Some can be delegated but others need to done. This is one of them.

    So really, I’d simply encourage you to read two books.

    First, Do More Better by Tim Challies, outlines briefly how to approach a working system that is adaptable to your needs and scaleable to your work and life context.

    Second, What’s Best Next by Matt Perman is also an excellent resource on how to think about personal productivity and then how to apply it.

    Administration, it’s not the sexiest topic. But it’s important if you’re wanting to learn more about how to actually do the job of youth ministry in amongst all the caring and events.

    It’s something I wish I knew when I started out.

    A while ago I wrote a post about what I wished I knew when entering youth ministry. This is part ten of a series dedicated to elaborating each of those eleven points. You can read part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, part six, part seven, part eight and part nine here.

    11 Things: A Youth Ministry Series
    Beginning As A Youth Pastor
    Part 1: Life With Jesus
    Part 2: The Senior Pastor-Youth Pastor Relationship
    Part 3: Church Health > Youth Ministry
    Part 4: Friends For The Journey And Friends For The Road
    Part 5: The Grass Isn’t Greener
    Part 6: Nothing Else Matters
    Part 7: Temptation And Holiness
    Part 8: Church Culture And Politics
    Part 9: Fixing People vs God’s Grace
    Part 10: Working Better (this post)
    Part 11: The Privilege Of Youth Ministry

  • The Relevance Of Jim Elliot For Youth Ministry

    Let me tell you about Jim.

    Jim was an active young man who enjoyed sharing his faith with others. He was a social kind of guy. He liked people and people liked him.

    He grew up in the United States and was an excellent student in high school and university. During these years he became a Christian, and from that point sought to share his faith with everyone he knew. In university he led a bible study and was the editor of the college newspaper. He studied hard, and received good grades.

    At one point he became interested in a girl. This interest occurred as he was exploring options to serve God in a mission capacity overseas.

    jim_elliot_by_gregchapin-d6jqcxv

    He married Elisabeth and they moved to Ecuador as missionaries. They first learnt the language before moving out near the jungle. Jim had a passion to reach a group of people who had never heard the name Jesus before. He wanted to share Jesus with them and had a few friends wanting to do the same.

    After a couple of years Jim and four other friends began to search for a tribe that had never heard about Jesus. They did a number of flyovers of the jungle looking for a particular tribe, their huts and living arrangements. After a number of months they found the tribe they’d been looking for. They began to gently make contact with them through giving them gifts; gifts of food and other packages useful to their tribe were lowered out of the plane they were in.

    On one particular day they decided to make closer contact with the tribe by flying to an open area near the village, landing on some hard sand next to a river. The whole day the team chatted with a couple of people from the tribe the best way they knew how. They were encouraged, believing they had made a good impression.

    Unbeknownst to the group the rest of the tribe had surrounded them as they had been talking throughout the day. In the thick of the trees and scrubs of the jungle were the men of the village. After dark these tribesmen came out of hiding and killed them, putting an end to their mission task.

    Once the guys didn’t arrive home the wives and children soon realised what had happened. In the weeks and months following many, understandably, left Ecuador for home.

    But this isn’t the end of the story.

    Jim’s wife, Elisabeth, and their daughter, ended up making contact with the tribe. Elisabeth and her daughter became friends with this tribe and ended up living with them for a number of years.

    They lived with the people who had killed their husband and father.

    Over the course of time the tribe turned to Jesus and from its violent ways into a loving people who cherished the Good News.

    The story of Jim Elliot and his wife Elisabeth is a famous story in mission circles. It is a story that has inspired many people to take the leap into cross-cultural mission, and I’d have to be included with them.

    However, this isn’t simply a story worth limiting to global missions. It can also be a story relevant to us in youth ministry. Here’s how:

    First, Jim’s story reminds us of the concern for sharing the Good News. 

    This Good News is the story of what God has done through Jesus. It is the story of God creating and calling a people to himself. It is a story that understands each individual student, parent, family, church member, and member of society, as a loved, cared for, and important person to God himself.

    In youth ministry we seek to connect God’s story with the stories of those who we come into contact with. We seek to connect the Good News with the story of each individual connected with our youth ministry. Jim’s story is a reminder that sharing God’s story is to be at the forefront of what we do. It is what we are to be passionate about and committed to. It is a reminder that our youth ministries are to be mission-shaped.

    Second, Jim’s story reminds us to be strategic. 

    There is strategy behind the plans Jim and his friends had to achieve their mission. This strategy was thought out as they tried to show their love and care for the tribe in a respectful and meaningful way.

    In youth ministry it’s important to have a strategy in determining how you go about what you do. Sometimes this might be in your head, but eventually it is worth having something written out in order to explain what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. A youth ministry without a strategy is like going on a car ride without a map. It helps keep you focussed and helps you know when you’re heading off track.

    Third, Jim’s story reminds us of the need for passion and commitment.

    No one will deny Jim had passion and commitment. Jim realised the need to be involved in the long-term mission task. He had a passion to share the Good News and to make it known to people who wouldn’t have known otherwise. He also committed himself to this task, commitment even to death.

    If you’re in youth ministry and don’t have the passion for it, nor the commitment to it, then why do you even #youthmin?

    Passion doesn’t need to be loud and proud, it might be through an inner sense of satisfaction. Commitment will be shown through your presence, your people interactions, and your punctuality to name a few character traits. Encourage those traits and stoke that passion…or find someone to take over.

    What inspires me about Jim’s story is his willingness to share the gospel with people and to also share his life with them. He not only gave his live for the cause of Christ but was seeking to share his life with people he didn’t know. He was one of five young men to be martyred that day in 1956, all striving to share their faith with this unreached tribe who had never heard the Good News before. Yet, it took their death for the sharing of the Good News to this tribe to occur.

    I doubt you’re putting yourself on the line like Jim Elliot and this mates did when rocking up to youth group on a Friday night. That’s OK. But, whatever your youth ministry looks like remember that it is like double-sided sticky-tape, its about sharing the Good News and about sharing your life.

    “…because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well.” – 1 Thessalonians 2:8. 

  • Fixing People vs God’s Grace

    I walk into church.

    I know what to expect. I’ve been to plenty of churches and services before.

    I’ve been a Pastor’s kid. I’ve been a volunteer. I’ve spoken up the front. I’ve been on staff. I’ve been part of committees and organising groups.

    I know church culture like I know how to drive a car. I know what the people are doing up the front.

    I know most of the songs. I know the typical Baptist liturgy, the three-song sandwich.

    I’ve sat through plenty of prayers. I’ve let the bowl pass plenty of times. I’ve taken the bread and the juice regularly. I’ve listened to plenty of people’s stories. I’ve heard sermon after sermon after sermon.

    I know what to expect on a Sunday morning.

    But what I didn’t expect was that feeling of being more burdened when I walked out of the service than when I walked in.

    That surprised me.

    For a few months, having recently finished up my position as Youth and Young Adults Pastor, I found myself confused.

    I thought going to church would now be easier. There’d be no pressure, there’d be no one watching, there’d be no one expecting anything of me. I could sit, I could listen, I could let it all wash over me as I reflected and worshipped God.

    But, there I sat. I sat hearing those prayers, listening to the songs, concentrating on the sermon, and participating in the gathering. Yet, the more I did this the worse I felt, the more the burdens piled up on my already heavy shoulders.

    As I’ve reflected on this experience there are no doubt plenty of reasons for feeling like this. The loss of previous identity, the over-cynical nature of my mind, the attitude of my heart toward church. I also realised that what I was looking for was grace, hope, and a sense of God’s love for me personally.

    Instead, I was given proof-texted lifehacks for a healthy life. I was being fed fast-food that seemed to taste nice at the time but became ugly as time went on.

    For a season, I sensed layers and layers of guilt being added to me when walking out of a church service. I was guilty about my relationship with Jesus. I was guilty about my actions and attitudes toward those around me. I was guilty about my parenting. I was guilty about my spending habits. I was guilty about my responsibilities.

    I came out feeling like I wasn’t doing enough. That all I needed to do to be living the Christian life was to do more of whatever was taught that particular week. Rather than finding the alleviation of guilt, shame, and sin that the worship of God through the Spirit brings I was finding my already full to-do-list was being added to.

    As I look back on my own brief ministry and church experience I realise that little time is spent providing opportunities of being fed God’s grace.

    The church service is often a place where people come once a week, if you’re lucky, and seek to hear God through his Word with his people. Yet, I know I have been guilty of things, of just giving fast-food topped with ice-cream for dessert. Often we give a short-term fix to long-term problems. We give little balm for their hurts and pain, providing cheap Band-Aids that soon lose their stick.

    In youth ministry we often plough ahead with the program. We outline what’s coming up and hit the main topics of relationships, sex, social media, and other ‘youth culture’ issues. We often bring the fun, the excitement and the loud. But it is also about time we as Youth Pastors thought about bringing the grace.

    How do we provide spaces for young people, and those in our church, to understand that God is a God of grace?

    We’re all very good at giving advice and providing correction if something doesn’t go the way we think is right.

    We’re all very quick to help with the practical but often unwilling to sit with the pained.

    The disruptive kid at youth group. The youth leader who always brings the negative. The parent who is always on your back. Each needs grace.

    People are not only sinners but they are sufferers too. They are enduring life and busyness and all that comes with the daily tasks of living. It’s a wonder so many make it into church on a Sunday, or to youth group on a Friday as it is!

    Let’s not attempt to fix people. Let’s provide spaces where God can work his grace.

    A while ago I wrote a post about what I wished I knew when entering youth ministry. This is part nine of a series dedicated to elaborating each of those eleven points. You can read part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, part six, part seven and part eight here.

    11 Things: A Youth Ministry Series
    Beginning As A Youth Pastor
    Part 1: Life With Jesus
    Part 2: The Senior Pastor-Youth Pastor Relationship
    Part 3: Church Health > Youth Ministry
    Part 4: Friends For The Journey And Friends For The Road
    Part 5: The Grass Isn’t Greener
    Part 6: Nothing Else Matters
    Part 7: Temptation And Holiness
    Part 8: Church Culture And Politics
    Part 9: Fixing People vs God’s Grace (this post)
    Part 10: Working Better
    Part 11: The Privilege Of Youth Ministry