New Children’s Ministry Initiative Makes Worship Leaders Walk Out Of Service

In an effort to be more inclusive of children in their services Pleasantville Baptist Church has encouraged those under the age of 12 to bring their own instruments to church for the opening bracket of songs.

For three weekends in a row the services at PBC have included a time for inviting children to the front with their instruments. In preparation for the change to the Sunday service the PBC Worship And Musical Praise Singing Committee (otherwise known as WAMPS for short) decided to provide instruments for those who need them. Thinking particularly of visitors, or children who don’t have their own instrument, WAMPS provides a surprisingly large wicker basket full of maracas, shaker eggs, castanets, handle bells, tambourines, jingle sticks, and, for one lucky child, a kazoo.

New Children's Ministry Initiative Make Worship Leaders Walk Out Of Service

Those attending on Sundays have taken this idea to heart. Each week families make sure their children now take their favourite musical instrument to church, alongside the few coins they contribute to the offering. Dale Lewis, father of three boys aged 9, 7 and 4, says it has really encouraged his children in their worship of God. He said, “After this initiative was introduced our boys have really enjoyed bringing their recorders and joining in with the music team.”

Part-time Children’s Director, Kimberly Hutchinson, is particularly pleased with this initiative. She’s been suggesting this idea to the WAMPS committee for the last four and a half years, finally getting them to agree to it after the positive response during their Christmas service.

However, in dramatic scenes this past Sunday, worship leaders Ella McKenzie and Cory Smith couldn’t cope. Not having led worship at PBC for a couple of months they were surprised to see so many children in front of them with their random assortment of instruments. During the seventh repeat of the chorus to one of the church’s favourite songs, ‘Shout To The Lord’, both McKenzie and Smith had had enough. They stopped singing, put down their instruments, and told the congregation they “…couldn’t continue to lead worship with the racket being made in front of them.”

The congregation were left confused as to what was happening up the front. Unfortunately, no one heard what McKenzie and Smith said because the children kept worshipping with their own instruments; drowning out any possible sound from the late-1980s microphones still waiting to be upgraded.

In a meeting with the Senior Pastor during the week both McKenzie and Smith explained their decision to walk out.

“We walked out because all these other instruments meant we couldn’t feel the Holy Spirit. At our six-hour practice during the week we agreed that the four songs we’d chosen would take the congregation on a journey of reflection and into the moment. We didn’t feel this could be achieved with the out-of-tune kazoo being blown on 1 and 3. Don’t get us wrong, we think it would be lovely for the children to be involved somehow, but perhaps that could be clapping their hands as they stand next to their parents.” 

As we write, the emergency WAMP meeting is now entering its fourth hour. Sources are suggesting that a literal understanding of Psalm 150 may be turning the tide in the children’s ministry favour.

“Praise him with the sounding of the trumpet,
    praise him with the harp and lyre,
praise him with timbrel and dancing,
    praise him with the strings and pipe,
praise him with the clash of cymbals,
    praise him with resounding cymbals.”

As Matthew Finkle, one of the children’s ministry volunteers, said upon arriving for the meeting, “Won’t somebody please think of the children?!”


Other satire pieces, where I attempt to amuse myself, can also be found at the following:

Missions Sub-Committee Approves Short-term Mission Team to Neighbours

For the last nine months Huntingdale Heights Community Church has been actively pursuing the idea that it should reach out to its neighbours. On Monday night the short-term missions sub-committee taskforce formally approved its first short-term missions team to do just that.

Missions Sub-Committee Approves Short-term Mission Team to Neighbours

Over the past three years Pastor Jeff Hines has been preaching through the book of Acts, and this has inspired a small group of eight people to consider reaching out to their local community.

One of those inspired members, Mary Michaels, brought the idea of a neighbourhood short-term mission team to the missions committee. She said, “Knowing missions is in the Bible I thought we could try something small by sending a group from our church to connect with the neighbours in our street. I’ve seen other churches go overseas and to different cities around the country but it seems obvious that we should reach out to those around us.”

After a period of visioning a sub-committee taskforce was formed to think through the process of formulating such a team and decide what they would do. David Jenkins, one of the key members of this sub-committee taskforce said, “For the last six months the committee has really narrowed down on how to best develop this trip and the team going. We have seen what other churches do and feel we could do something similar in our community, even in our street. We’d really like some of our members to connect with our neighbours, and are willing to partner with them in prayer and finances as they head off on this adventure.” Mr Jenkins explained that the team would undergo a training weekend with workshops on language and culture, team building, and gospel presentation.

The 10-day short-term mission trip is being met with much anticipation by those attending Huntingdale Heights Community Church. Gary Hopper thinks this could really spark the missions activity of the church and would like to see it occur annually going forward. He said, “It’s terrific, really terrific. To have a group of 6-8 people from our church who are willing to commit time and resource to reaching our neighbours is something of a culture shift for our church. We’re so busy these days that it is inspiring to see this small group commit 10-days to meeting our neighbours needs. This team could make such a great impact in such a short time.”

With only a month before the team heads off the last minute planning and preparations are taking place. The church is busy organising next weekend’s trivia night where it is hoping to raise the $1500 per person it needs for the trip. And some of the members of the team are buying all the essentials they need, including some new branded clothes that will allow them to fit in well with those they meet.

Of course, this trip wouldn’t have gone ahead had it not been for God working in the lives of the congregation. Josh Arden is one young adult member who has felt called by God to go on this missions trip. He explained his reasoning for doing so this way, “Listening to Pastor Jeff teach through Acts has shown me how important missions really is. I am nervous and excited about how God might change me and grow me through this trip. I look forward to meeting the neighbours of the church during this time, and hopefully helping them in various projects they need doing. I’ve been mowing the lawn for my parents for the last couple of years, I wonder if some of our neighbours would be be willing for me to do the same for them?”

Upon exiting the church building it was noted that the church’s storage room was beginning to fill with half-filled paint tins; donated by caring church members for the painting of some of the neighbours fences.


I submitted this satirical post to The Babylon Bee. It wasn’t accepted. I thought it worth publishing here. I hope you enjoyed it as much as enjoyed writing it. 

Chair of Deacons Postpones Meeting To Confirm Identity of Youth Pastor

The monthly deacons meeting of Eastbourne Baptist Church was temporarily postponed 45 minutes on Tuesday night as the identity of the youth pastor was confirmed.

It is understood that Chairman Nigel Andrews was unsure of the identity of the man sitting to his left; needing confirmation it was indeed the church’s youth pastor, Jason Jackson.

Chairman Andrews chose not to start the formal proceedings of the meeting until the man’s identity was proven. Only after conversation with other members of the diaconate, and a phone call with the young man’s mother, did Mr Andrews finally begin the meeting.

The alleged reason for Mr Andrews’ confusion was that he had never seen Youth Pastor Jason in a collared shirt.

Chair of Deacons Postpones Meeting To Confirm Identity of Youth Pastor

After gathering the thoughts of those on the committee he then asked Pastor Jason to produce his driver’s licence. Still unconvinced Chairman Andrews had a brief conversation with Mr Jackson’s mother, confirming his choice of apparel for the evening. It is believed there was a 25 minute delay in getting through to Pastor Jason’s mother, she was apparently outside hanging up his hoodies on the washing line.

The meeting finally got underway 45 minutes after its scheduled start.

After the meeting Deaconess Jennifer commented that she too was unsure who was sitting next to the Chairman. She thought he might have been the consultant to help the church in the next stage of their building program. But she was pleasantly surprised to find that it was indeed Youth Pastor Jason and has encouraged him to dress in similar fashion more regularly. Jennifer is quoted as saying, “Usually I see him wearing t-shirts and hoodies. In fact, I’ve never seen a youth pastor of EBC wear a collared shirt. It’s a new level of professionalism. If this continues then a number of parents may actually believe Jason to be an actual pastor”.

Despite the confusion Youth Pastor Jason said that he understood the reason for the confusion. He said, “No one is more surprised as I am in finding myself wearing a collared shirt. I saw it in my wardrobe and realised I hadn’t worn it since I graduated high school. Now that we’ve gotten over this speed bump I look forward to coming to these meetings in similar attire”.

Likewise, Chairman Andrews agreed that the collared shirt is a good move for Mr Jackson. He said, “Despite the hiccup at the start of the meeting I was impressed by Youth Pastor Brad’s attention to detail for such important meetings”.

In coming days Chairman Andrews will encourage Eastbourne’s Senior Pastor, Daniel Hooper, to have a word with Jason, suggesting he buy a new shirt for the next meeting.

Late last week Mr Jackson’s mother was seen lining up at Target with a couple of new collared shirts ready for purchase.


I submitted this satirical post to The Babylon Bee. It wasn’t accepted. I thought it worth publishing here. I hope you enjoyed it as much as enjoyed writing it. 

When You’ve Been Writing For 8 Years And Your Blog Still Sucks

I’ve been writing on this blog, on and off, for about eight years.

And yep, my blog still sucks.

There are probably a number of reasons the blog sucks. The writing. The topics. The lack of consistency in publishing posts. The poor promotion, even though it is the age of social media.

I don’t like to think about these reasons. It’ll send me into a spiral.

But, yeah, the blog sucks.

When You've Been Writing For 8 Years And Your Blog Still Sucks

Any person with basic mathematical skills will work this out when they read my stats. A blog’s stats are like Microsoft Excel to an accountant, they measure and tell the story of the site. They help the owner of a blog calculate how well they’re doing.

Well, my stats tell me that my blog sucks.

I’m not even sure if I should tell you my stats. I don’t see this as a done thing in the blogosphere. Everyone is so secret about it.

Here goes.

  • So far this year I’ve had 2000 post or page views. The most views in a year was 2016, at just over 2500.
  • The most views are directly to my homepage. In terms of the most viewed post, the winner is an obscure post about Christian persecution in the Middle East from 2014.
  • I have 97 people who follow this blog through WordPress or via email.

So as I was saying, my blog sucks.

There are days I want to blow it up. To detonate it and send it into internet oblivion. To see it gone from the history of the web forever. I then wonder whether anyone else would like to see this happen too.

But then there are days where I just want to keep plugging away. To keep trying to publish regularly. To write things and let the world have them. To create and put out into the world thoughts, reflections, and understandings that might have an impact on someone.

And so I don’t and won’t blow it up right now. I won’t hit the switch. I won’t delete my words from the interwebs.

I’ll keep going.

I’ll keep posting.

I’ll keep writing.

Because at the end of the day I have seen improvement. I enjoy the writing process and putting things out there for others to consider. I am pleased with some of what I have written. It’s not about the stats but my own growth in my writing.

But, yeah, my blog still sucks.


This post is a free writing exercise in response to The Daily Post topic ‘Detonate‘.

The Laughing Theologian

It’s not often that the topic of humour is discussed in evangelical circles. I find, because I enjoy having a laugh and making others laugh, that I can be taken to be ‘anti-serious’. After reading this gem from Trueman I’m going to make sure I keep on laughing…!

Tony Reinke

truemanCarl Trueman, Luther on the Christian Life: Cross and Freedom (Crossway, 2015), 198–199:

In general terms, of course, Protestant theologians have not been renowned for their wit, and Protestant theology has not been distinguished by its laughter. Yet Luther laughed all the time, whether poking fun at himself, at Katie, at his colleagues, or indeed at his countless and ever increasing number of enemies. Humor was a large part of what helped to make him so human and accessible. And in a world where everyone always seems to be “hurt” by something someone has said or offended by this or that, Luther’s robust mockery of pretension and pomposity is a remarkable theological contribution in and of itself.

Humor, of course, has numerous functions. It is in part a survival mechanism. Mocking danger and laughing in the face of tragedy are proven ways of coping with hard and difficult situations. Undoubtedly…

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Christians and Humour

Wee Sen Goh
Wee Sen Goh

There’s no denying it. I love to laugh.

The world would be a sad place if God hadn’t created us to laugh. Laughter means we’re enjoying ourselves. It means we’re enjoying the world. It means for that moment we’re having fun and are happy, no matter how short-lived that moment may be.

Thinking of the physical nature of laughter, it makes our body move, it causes us to make noise, it may even make us cry. Laughter doesn’t only show we’re having fun on the outside but it provides our bodies with activity that is beneficial to our muscles and our brain.

Laughter can help alleviate pain and sadness. Laughter can get us out of awkward conversations. Laughter can help us to not take ourselves too seriously.

This is one of the major problems with people who take things too seriously, they don’t laugh.

I know a number of fellow Christians who don’t really laugh. I’ve never seen them laugh. OK, sometimes my jokes may have been misplaced and not really funny at all but you’d think that we (Christians) would be the people of this world who would be laughing the most.

Laughing gives off a sense of confidence. There is confidence in the enjoyment of the moment and the time. As believers who are assured of life forever and worship and know God himself our enjoyment of him and everything he has provided for us should enable us to laugh. We’re creatures created to laugh.

There are of course different types of humour and some people frown upon certain types. The Australian humour of putting down others and sarcastic comments has been around for years. I can’t say I’m not immune to letting the odd sarcastic comment come out of my mouth just to get a laugh.

The other day I finished reading Stuff Christians Like by Jon Acuff. It’s funny. Really funny. It takes the mickey out of Christian culture and names it for what it is – weird. This book provides a perfect example of Christians not taking themselves too seriously. Well, at least those who read it and find it funny.

Sometimes there are people I just want to say “loosen up” to. They’re never laughing, always talking about serious things, not allowing themselves to enjoy the world.

God created us to laugh. He even wrote funny bits into his Word. Remember that guy who was listening to Paul preach and he fell out the window because he’d fallen asleep. That’s funny. Surely that’s funny. OK, he died, but then God performed a miracle and he was made alive again. The fact that he fell asleep while listening to what many people would say the world’s second greatest preacher (no one’s allowed to trump Jesus, of course) is funny.

Or think of Jonah, he gets swallowed by a large fish! Amazing and funny at the same time.

Ah, well, I enjoy laughing. I hope you do too.

What have you laughed at this week? What have you found funny? Are you enjoying what the Lord has made?