Hudson Taylor was one of a kind. He is remembered as a missionary to China and a great man of God. Yet, in his walk with God he battled with seasons of temptation and doubt about the forgiveness that comes through Jesus. At the age of 37 he wrote his mother the following:
My own position becomes continually more and more responsible, and my need greater of special grace to fill it; but I continually to mourn that I follow at such a distance and learn so slowly to imitate my precious Master. I cannot tell you how I am buffeted sometimes by temptation. I never knew how bad a heart I had. Yet I do know that I love God and love His work, and desire to serve Him only in all things. And I value above all things that precious Saviour in Whom alone I can be accepted. Often I am tempted to think that one so full of sin cannot be a child of God at all; but I try to throw it back, and rejoice all the more in the preciousness of Jesus, and in the riches of that grace that has made us “accepted in the Beloved.” Beloved He is of God; beloved He ought to be of us. But oh, how short I fall here again! May God help me to love Him more and serve Him better. Do pray for me. Pray that the Lord will keep me from sin, will sanctify me wholly, will use me more largely in His service.
After receiving an encouraging letter from another missionary some time later he came to understand the forgiving nature of salvation through Christ, declaring, “God has made me a new man! God has made me a new man!”
The letter he received said:
To let my loving Saviour work in me His will, my sanctification is what I would live for by His grace. Abiding, not striving nor struggling; looking off onto him; trusting Him for present power; trusting Him to subdue all inward corruption; resting in the love of an Almighty Saviour, and the conscious joy of a complete salvation.